Crafting a Thoughtful Obituary: Step-by-Step Guide with Tips and Sample
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When a loved one passes it can feel like a lot of things need to happen at once and you’re not sure where to begin. One of the first tasks you will need to do is write an obituary sharing the highlights of their life.
If we haven’t met yet, I’m Lindsey Nickel. Born and raised in the East Bay, I’m a wedding planner turned celebration of life planner based in Napa, California. I’ve planned 100+ events since 2010 and I specialize in celebrations of life (and Napa weddings). I help grieving families throughout the San Francisco Bay Area plan meaningful celebrations of life, without feeling even more stressed out. Suddenly, things you didn’t think you cared about become important. That’s where an event planner comes in to provide you with options, help you make decisions efficiently, and manage the event planning.
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What Are The Essential Details To Include In An Obituary?
Writing something that has the importance and gravitas of an obituary for a loved one can feel overwhelming and daunting. You want to shine a light on all the beautiful aspects of them while still keeping it at an easy-to-read length. How do you write an obituary that includes a lifetime of wonderful moments in such a brief post?
Here is what you should make sure you include when you write an obituary.
The essential details of an obituary:
Name (first and last)
Age upon passing
Birthplace
Where they currently lived (city/state)
List of surviving relatives (you can include children’s spouses if you want)
Date of passing
Location of passing
Where services will be held (location, time, date)
Think of the above as the most essential information to include but you are not limited to just that.
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How To Tell Their Story In An Obituary
At this point, it is the time you tell the story of your loved one and share anecdotes and memories of your time with them. You can ask those closest to the departed to write down a short memory they have with them and include aspects of it in their obituary. A great question to ask yourself as you are writing an obituary is “how would they want to be remembered?” and use that answer as a guiding principle.
The importance of an obituary goes beyond just announcing the passing of a loved one but past obits are often used during ancestry searches to gather information. With this in mind here are a few other things you might want to include:
Parents Names
Affiliations (church, clubs, etc)
Job or Career
Accomplishments
Information on the spouse and children
Hobbies
Do not shy away from using humor in your writing either. Personality is a big piece of the puzzle. If your loved one loved to laugh then definitely include funny moments that they would get a kick out of as well as the reader.
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How To Make The Obituary Memorable
When writing an obituary, you will want to make it clear who they were in life, how they lived, milestones they achieved, and include hobbies, quirks, and affiliations to help tell that story even more. Remember the more detail that you can include the more memorable the obituary will be.
It is okay to Google examples or even templates for writing a good obituary. They often can spur your creativity which results in a great obituary that your loved one would adore.
Lastly, when selecting a photo you want to choose a more recent one so that people will recognize them. If you use one from 40 years ago (while they may look dashing), people may not realize it is them and therefore not read the obituary which defeats its purpose.
Don’t forget to make sure you double and triple-check your spelling and grammar which can often be overlooked during this emotional time. You don’t want errors to live forever in the archives.
Obituaries that are the most meaningful are not the ones that are necessarily the longest, or are in the most popular newspapers but are the ones that are written from the heart, have personality, and are easy to read. You are writing this obituary to celebrate your loved one and that should be its sole purpose.
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Sample Obituary
Here is an example of one that my friend wrote for her mom:
Just when smiles and laughter are needed most, there's a little less of it in the world today. On January 23, 2018, after 92 years of life, love, and shopping trips, Ruth May Simpson - our beautiful mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, sister, friend, and lover of puzzles; a person for whom gin & tonics and a game of gin rummy were a daily necessity, a fierce fashionista who got her hair done every Friday and who's outfits matched head to toe, a devoted member of the Assistance League of Riverside and the Victoria Club - finally let go of this world in preparation for the next, slipping away as peacefully and elegantly as one could imagine.
We suspect Mom was met by her folks, Benard and Marie, her chatty sisters, Isla and Janet, the love of her life and husband of 56 years, Dan Simpson, her close friends who warmed her heart, and unless God is looking for trouble, her beloved cats.
Ruth leaves behind an abiding faith in God, a genuine love of laughter, and an absolute devotion to her family. Carrying on is her son, Grant (Donna), daughter Kay, 3 grandchildren, Kathy (Mike), Monty (Lala), and Kassie; plus 6 great-granddaughters; her brother Mark (Holly), and many amazing neighbors and friends from everywhere.
Services: Monday, February 12, 2018, at 11 a.m. at Montague Church in Ranchero. PRESTON AND SIMONS MORTUARY
Now that you know how to write an obituary, who are we? Lovely Day Legacies is the go-to event planner for families planning celebrations of life, memorials, and funerals.
We help families to plan meaningful events to honor their loved ones, without feeling even more stressed out.
Lovely Day Legacies is based in Napa, Calif., and is pleased to provide event planning for the San Francisco Bay Area including Napa Valley, Sonoma Valley, wine country, Orinda, Lafayette, Walnut Creek, Piedmont, Marin County, Tiburon, Sausalito, San Francisco and more.
